Monday, August 17, 2009

Phoenix to Tucson to El Paso - Best Mexican Ever, Beautiful Sights, Border Patrol and BBQ


Howdy. We woke up at the Days Inn in Phoenix ($43 dollars bought us a couple of queen-size beds, HBO,  a pool, fitness center and complimentary continental breakfast - we are living like kings, plus we got to catch the late showing of last night's episode of Entourage.


As the pool was remarkably nice (read: big), I decided to swim laps while Jeff ran. The "continental breakfast" turned out to be stale bagels and miniature versions of apples and oranges, so I grabbed a handful of almonds from the trunk and we hit the road.


When we stopped at the local Chase to deposit our Vegas winnings, we overheard that Obama was in town for the day, so we knew that meant one thing: Traffic. So we skipping downtown Phoenix, but our friendly bank teller Ashley assured us that we weren't missing much.



(The best shot of downtown Phoenix we could get. Trust me, not much there.)



(The Phoenix Art Museum)



(It does exist!)



(No complaints here.)


Here are some photos from the drive from Phoenix to Tuscon:






Here's a direct quote from our "Roadfood" book about a place called "Pico de Gallo

 in South Tucson:


"People are always asking asking us to name our favorite restaurant. It's an impossible challenge, akin to asking Hugh Hefner to single out his favorite playmate. It is hardly any easier to name number one in any one category of eatery (barbecue, fried chicken)...but we have little difficulty choosing the single Mexican restaurant we like most in all the USA. It is Pico de Gallo is South Tucson"


So guess where we went for lunch? It was amazing. Put it this way: Think about how hard it would be to order $17 in food at a Taco Bell. Then imagine that Taco Bell was running a 30% off sale on all food. You'd have to order half the menu, right? You see where I'm going with this?



(Best Mexican food in the United States, according to people who go on roadtrips and judge food for a living. If I ever meet them, I think we'll get along just fine.)



(The menu. Or, at the very least, the half of the menu that I ordered.)



(Clockwise from top left: Shrimp Ceviche, Tacos with three types of beef - Carne Asada, Barbacoa and Birria - a fruit salad with cajun seasoning, shrimp and fish tacos, a quesadilla with Cabera - beef cheek meat.)



(That's central Tuscson. We heard the burritos weren't as good over there, so we skipped it.)


I'm not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but at the LA farmer's market where I bought the Corned Beef and Beef Jerky, I also picked up sixteen bottles of hot sauce, including the infamous Dave's Insanity Sauce, which I decided to pull out of my trunk at Pico de Gallo in order to give my Carne Asada taco a serious kick. Jeff took a video of my first bite:



(It hurts so good.)


(Dave's Insanity Sauce = Will's Death Wish.)


I ran into a couple of soldiers to whom I offered some of my hot sauce, and they were more than happy to give it a try while they waited for their food. I figured a spoonful was more than enough for both of them, as I didn't want to get in trouble with Uncle Sam for putting a couple of his men out of commission.



(A few good men and a spoonful of hot sauce.)



(The Mexican dessert shop next to Pico de Gallo, which was also recommended by Roadfood. Unfortunately it was closed, but as they allegedly don't speak any English there, I don't know how much success we would have had anyway.)


Here are some Tuscon to El Paso shots:



(This is a very large pile of rocks.)


(I am not too mature to think that the name of this town is at least a little bit funny. Jeff said, "that arrow should be pointed towards our car, not away from it." And yes, I know it just means "beaches" in Spanish. Just let us have our fun, ok?)











(I think this is the definition of the term "Open Road")



(I really thought these clouds in the center resembled the thought bubbles you see in comic books.)



(Our streak of badly-timed photographs of state welcome signs continues. Welcome to Texas, people. Over 5500 miles, 17 States, and Counting...)



(Downtown El Paso.)


We arrived in El Paso right at dinner time, but that already factors in the fact that we lost an hour on the drive from Phoenix. So basically we had about 5 hours in between our very large lunch and our very large dinner. We headed to a place called Smitty's, as advised by Roadfood, for some basic but dirt cheap BBQ. Thanks to some accidentally awesome timing, we arrived just in time to watch the first half of the New York Giants' NFL preseason game against the Carolina Panthers.


(Very, very affordable barbecue if you're ever in El Paso with no dinner plans, as unlikely as that may be.)




(Jeff finds the best seat in the house. And the Giants won on the final play. Sweet.)


As tempted as I was to order the 16-ounce T-Bone that cost about a buck per ounce, I decided to go with the 4-meat platter, opting for beef ribs, pork ribs, chicken breast and marbled (non-lean) beef brisket. Jeff had the pork ribs and the sausage with coleslaw and beans. The bill came to $15 a person. I think that would buy me about   3 ounces of Porterhouse Steak at Peter Lugers. Whoever coined the term "Quality over Quantity" wasn't looking at the Smitty's menu. As an aside, to be fair, I can't mention that phrase without adding that Pico de Gallo proved that you needn't always sacrifice one for the other, as our lunch was a standout with respect to both Q's.



(Our combination plates, served with unsweetened iced tea. I am shiny because I am on my seventh layer of sunblock that day.)


We drove out of El Paso towards Austin, trying to find a scenic look at the Rio Grande, but had to settle for an extended drive along the Mexican border.



(If you try to sneak in or out of Mexico, you will be met by 750 miles of fences. Ugly, tall, pointy fences. If you don't believe my description, have a look for yourself.)



(My phone's rubber casing actually melted while sitting in one of the cupholders. I half-expected by bottle of water to spontaneously start boiling.) 



(Texas sunset.)


We've just passed Kent, Texas, which is 160 miles East of El Paso, and we've also just lost another hour, this time to the Central Time Zone. So, the clock reads 11:30pm, but we feel like it's 9:30 in the evening, and we're both feeling fresh, so we're going to push on in order to minimize tomorrow's drive. 


In about an hour or two, we'll crash at a local motel, and then tomorrow, we're going to finish our push to Austin and meet our friend Michelle Jacobson, who happens to be a JD/MBA student at UT. So, she's going to show us around town and let us crash at her place. In fact, if all goes as planned, tonight will be my last night in a hotel or motel. Apparently our plan for Austin is to go swimming in Barton Springs before having our second consecutive Texas BBQ dinner, which Michelle assures us will be far better than our first. 


I would just like to apologize to my cholesterol. Hang in there, buddy.



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