Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Embarrassing/Awesome Carolina Lake Watersports Videos Galore + Buffalo Wild Wings Blazing Challenge Attempt


Greetings from the beach. Virginia Beach, that is. We've arrived at Kirk's aunt's beach house, and we've just woken up from 10 hours of sleep on Tempurpedic Mattresses, which we desperately needed.

To recap, We had lunch yesterday at Kirk's place and then left Chapel Hill yesterday in the early afternoon and drove 45 minutes to his family's lakehouse, located in Northern North Carolina on Kerr lake.


(I made myself a fine sandwich. Healthiest thing I've eaten in a month.)

(Leaving Chapel Hill. The house was technically 1 mile into Durham, but we won't get into that...)

We were met there by Kirk's father, George (Kirk's real name is also George. Kirk is the fourth. His dad is the third.), who is the coolest 57-year old dude I have ever met.


(Father and son.)

(Kirk, Ryan, and Dad.)

(The view of the cottage from the dock.)

(Dr. Kirkland and Ryan prepare the tubes.)

We didn't waste any time. We got on the boat and started cranking music. It was indescribably enjoyable.

(360 Degrees of the Carolina Lake while "Danger Zone" blasts in the background.)

(George IV, George III, and Ryan I)

(The view from the lake.)

(I felt like I was in a Corona commercial.)


(Laying out on the lake.)

Then, I had a trial-by-fire lesson on how to wakeboard. It's a lot harder to "get up" on the board than you'd think, but after several failed (read: embarrassing) attempts, I got the knack of it.

(My very first time getting up on a wakeboard. I make it for a few seconds before I take a spill.)

(Once I "got up" on the board a few times, I developed a false sense of confidence and decided that if I make it "outside the wake", I would try to pull off a jump. Exactly half of those things happened. This is an epic wipeout.)


(My very first time wakeboarding. It only took me eight attempts to "get up" before I was successful.)


Then Kirk showed us how it's done. He has been spending a lot of time out here since leaving Morgan Stanley, so he is in mid-season form.

(Kirk getting some air on the Wakeboard.)


(Kirk shows us how to get "outside the wake".)

After our wakeboarding adventure/debacle, we brought out the tube, which is a serious piece of equipment. There is room for three on the giant piece of rubber, but Ryan is nursing an injury (I think it's related to either a ninja attack or a shark bite), so he and Kirk's dad did the boat driving while Kirk and I went out, ass-first, on the tubes.

(Kirk and I on the tube.)


(Kirk and I get on the tube.)

(Kirk and I getting thrown around like puppets.)

Then Kirk wanted to do some driving, so I got to go solo, head-first, on this beast of a tube. Wow. This could have been the most fun I had on the entire trip. That being said, I can barely type this morning, and I'm pretty sure my forearms are going to fall off today when I go jet skiing.

(Going solo on the tube.)


(Alone with my thoughts on the tube. My thoughts were mainly along the lines of "Holy balls, I am going to die.")

(I'm getting tossed around like a rag doll on the tube. My legs are up in the air in this picture. Kirk's father estimated that, around the turns, the tube hits 70 mph. I'd believe it.)

(Getting some air on the tube.)


After we left the lakehouse, we drove the three hours to Virginia Beach and went directly to dinner.


(Welcome to Virginia.)

(Ryan and Kirk decide they will "embrace their inner Southerner" and decide to go topless in the Mustang from the lakehouse to the beach.)

We had decided on Buffalo Wild Wings in advance, but once we arrived, we were pleasantly surprised to find out that it was "Wing Tuesday", which meant two things: 1) Really cheap wings and 2) Serious overeating.


(Kirk and Ryan decided to down these "Jungle Joose" tallboys before dinner. 2 24 ounce, 9.8% ABV beverages for $5. That's the rough equivalent of a bottle of wine each. Also, did I mention it was bright green?)

Once we arrived at the restaurant, I saw the "Blazin' Challenge" signs and decided to give it a try, not really knowing what it was. I found out it is the following: 12 Blazing wings (the hottest of the hottest they have - and they have about 15 varieties) in 6 minutes, with no water, blue cheese, napkins, or anything. And you have to eat the wings directly with your lips and teeth (i.e. you cant pull the meat off with your fingers and try to bypass your taste buds when you drop it into your mouth).


(As if I wasn't going to try this.)


(There's a waiver. Jeez.)

(The manager/referee with his stopwatch. I had 6 minutes. Let the games begin.)

How hard could it be? Well when I asked to do it, the waiter had to ask me about 3 or 4 times if I was sure. Then he brought the manager over, who had a waiver for me to sign, along with a stopwatch. Then they made an announcement over the loudspeaker (the restaurant was packed) about my impending attempt. Then a small crowd formed around me. Then I finished the challenge in 1 minute, 41 seconds. Piece of cake. I even won a t-shirt.

(Believe it or not, a small crowd formed around me.)

(The manager witnessing my feat.)

(I wasn't allowed to wipe my face during the challenge.)


(This polaroid is now on the wall of the restaurant. The manager said he didn't remember the last time someone did it in under two minutes. I'm a legend in Virginia Beach.)


(Do I look like a survivor? Because I feel like a survivor.)


(The rest of our meal arrived about 10 minutes after I finished the challenge. Pity our arteries.)

Ok folks, it's time for a day at the beach. This is my final day of the trip in which I don't have to do any driving, so I'm going to savor it. See ya.

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